By SAMUEL TORRES
Staff Writer
Part I;
“Wake up, Wake up” the sound of voices flows through my head trying to awaken me from my sleep, they began to become louder with each word “You got to wake up, now!” My eyes opened and I pushed my body up from the bed holding myself up by the palms of my hands. The clock ticks as seconds passed by and I pant, my heart racing so fast, my mind was lost as the nightmare in which trapped me in my sleep was slowly fading away from my head. I was trapped in this darkness, and these strange noises coming from all around me I couldn’t understand what they were trying to tell me but…everything was still.
The gloomy grey sky filled my hometown, as its lights light-filled up my room. Why so gloomy, why so dark, why must we fear what was inside? The footsteps filling the quietness of my house and the tea kettle blowing out a loud tone, nothing was ever the same since you left…nothing has been the same since I was abandoned alone with these thoughts. You were the only one who showed any bright path to lead me in the right direction, so why, why did you leave so soon?
I held up my mother’s photo as a teardrop fell on top of it, even though it has been 2 years since you left. I was managing to walk this world with such little money and in debt to those who I cannot be able to pay back. “I’m finally turning 18, mother”, today’s my birthday and I badly wish you were here with me.
I walked out of my home as it was time to go to the one place I feared the most. High school wasn’t the best as it was for the others and I couldn’t help but have anxiety with every step I took, one step with the thought of judgment from others, another step of self-pity, and a final step of being away from one everyone didn’t like the most.
Midnight Blue, Midnight sky, oh how I want to fly up high with you. The mornings were the only thing I had feared, but when Midnight blooms…it’s wonderful. When the Bright Moon shines, where everything is peaceful, it was my escape from reality in which others never understood. Miyabi, a name my mother gave me for “Elegant night Fire,” she said, when the night hit I would always go outside and look up at the moon, she saw the bright light reflected off the moon and into my eyes shining brighter than anything else than she had ever seen.
The reasoning for this is to know, I fear the Light but Admire the night, to know that everyone is not equally the same. As I roam the halls I have seen the reasoning behind every tale, every face, seeing how everyone acts from a younger age to their teenage years. You weren’t the same as when you were younger, are you? The mask we hide behind is beginning to break and we can no longer take it, hiding who we are because it will soon become lost. I never had the thought of making friends, never had the thought of having a partner, never had the idea of putting myself out there as an easy target.
We’ve all experienced loss in our lives, just in different ways…They never told me how my mother died, my memories of her only reach the age of 5. My father took my siblings away with his new wife leaving me alone without any care. I looked down, stopping at my locker till I heard a low bang echoing the hallways, I bent down quickly to my knees covering my ears, my heartbeat beginning to beat louder as if it was about to burst.
“Hey you two, no playing around in the halls!” I turned my head slightly behind me as everything became silent, two boys were messing around and one got knocked against a locker in which a teacher caught them both. I looked back ahead of me as people began to stare at me on the floor, I was frozen, I was embarrassed and ashamed of myself. I couldn’t even run away from everyone…I couldn’t run from everything. I looked back down onto the floor trying to silence my mind from overthinking but I was already on the urge to cry and break down, till I saw someone stop right in front of me and as I slowly looked up their hand was held out for me to grab.