By SAMUEL TORRES
Staff Writer
The sounds of unsettling crying, the memories of traumatic past hits now and then but- when everything feels calm, everything falls into a sudden silence, it was like a quick realization of reality. Was it all for us to hurt, or was it for something more with a bigger meaning? It never occurs to us when and why these things happen but it all has more of a purpose than we ever had assumed, the theories we make as teenagers, the wild fantasies we have as little kids, it all seems like a blur as if there were tears in our eyes messing our vision on what’s there.
Similar places bring back those trigger memories as every single one shoots us down from where we accomplished to be. No matter the age, no matter the lifespan we have, it will always come to us as if it’s a tumor stuck in our brain causing some kind of sickness. It hurts to think of the things we have lost but it was all for a reason, these voices, these words of inspiration or separation from reality it affects in a certain way.
All the withering words binding together as if it was a whole story together, these pages of our lives continue to build up as our story writes itself as we continue. It is more than what it seems, there is more to you, so why do we take these words given to us, breaking them like sticks and listening to the words that come from our head? They hit like bullets as if every shot is worse than the other. Not being able to let go of the past, I stop in my tracks as if my feet were glued to the cement floor. My body feels like stone.
“Breathe” I inhale as much as my lungs could trying to silence these yelling words in my head, “Breathe out” I exhale what was once claimed as mine then out changing into something new, everything felt steady as if there was no sound at all in this world anymore. No matter the age, there are always these little things that grow until we learn how to stop them from winning over this reality of our story.
Breaking down from this all feel like we are alone in this lonesome world, it’s the people who make our days count who come to help find the actual truth. However, whenever we are alone in our own space as we pass the rest of the people around us, it feels like every single movement we take just to get to class is doing something wrong.
“Everything’s okay come here” I get up from the bathroom floor as the threads of my shirt were ripped away from each other and the skin that was pale white turning to a darkish color of purple, “I’m sorry” It’s the words that we choose not to believe because it’s something we don’t know we can believe, I gripped onto them as tears began to roll down my cheeks slowly staining the clothing with watermarks.
“Yes it hurts now, but the pain will disappear” Whether there is trust, “If you don’t take my words, I still want you to rely on me,” Whether there is hope, “I know you are different but you will always be special to me,” Whether I give up on everything and lose myself with every emotion coming at me at one time, “I love you” why do you always stay here with me?