By: ANONYMOUS
Staff Writer
- Black Sabbath is too outdated and unconventional to appeal to modern fans. Black Sabbath is one of the earliest and most popular metal bands, pioneers of the genre, but this also means their earlier work is very unrefined. Their first album is chock full of ideas that just never took off in metal, sometimes very strange and often damaging to the experience; take for example the lengthy harmonica solos which are goofy and terrible in the context of metal. Aside from this, so much of their work is also just boring, and reluctant to ever pick up speed. So many of their songs always seem to be constantly delaying any kind of chorus or riff where the song could quicken or change pace to keep interest. Of course, they have their hits which are enjoyable, but what you don’t hear are the hundreds of other songs which don’t get airtime that are total slogs of weird experiments and instrumentals that are slower than most other metal bands. In all honesty, the Ronnie James Dio era of Black Sabbath was when they were at their best, as the Dio albums offer heavier and faster material.
- Billy Joel is completely insufferable. Everything about Billy Joel and what this guy touches is just so oversaturated, cheesy, and pretentious. His vocals are somewhere between whiny and theatrical, while the instrumentals feel calculatedly devoid of anything interesting. He also does this super obnoxious ‘tough but pretty-boy music for the people’ persona throughout his lyrics and it’s intoxicatingly annoying. His most famous song, “Piano Man” features another harmonica which, I’m sorry, is just a really ugly instrument to mix in with other genres. I suppose this isn’t really as hot a take, as Billy Joel already gets a considerable amount of hate, but he’s sold so many records and even has his own holiday in New York, so I feel he’s still fair game and I just hold a strong loathing of everything Billy Joel.
- “Creep” is Radiohead’s best song and they’ve gone downhill since their early sound. I still really like Radiohead, but a lot of their stuff, especially the most recent albums, is just too slow and boring. I get it and I understand why people like their slower music, but to me, it just doesn’t compare with their more traditionally structured songs. A lot of their newer work drags on for too long and or is incomprehensible. Furthermore, “Creep” is a classic song and more engaging than anything else they’ve done, but I still do enjoy their other popular songs.
- RZA’s “Liquid Swords” is severely overrated. Almost every Wu-Tang fan always speaks so highly of this solo album from RZA, and even goes so far as to say it’s better than 36 Chambers. This is just not true, as 36 Chambers is arguably probably the best album to come out of the Wu-Tang, and “Liquid Swords” is not nearly as enjoyable as much of their other work. It all for the most part comes down to the beats. Wu-Tang is famous for their really unique and technically intricate yet simple and hard-hitting instrumentals, but the beats in Liquid Swords are really underwhelming and downright boring on some songs. The lyrics and vocals are great as to be expected from RZA, but the same energy isn’t there when the instrumentals only serve as a backdrop and don’t do anything worth noting.
- Prog Rock as a genre is terrible. This is probably my most controversial opinion about music in general, but it’s the culmination of years of frustration. With Prog Rock from the 60s and 70s, the production often uses distortions in such a way as to make instruments that are typically pleasant into ugly and grainy assaults on the ear. King Crimson is especially guilty of this distortion; it’s to the point where their songs all mush together as every sound is exceptionally raggedy and soundy. Later bands lose this distortion, but usually have riffs and melodies that don’t seem to want to actually do anything, but just pester you. Rush is one of the most hated bands out there and a good example of the kind of annoying sound I’m talking about. But by far the worst is the pretentiousness of the genre. There’s a kind of culture that’s formed around Prog Rock, between the bands and the fans, where they all pretend their genre is so much more ‘elevated’ than other types of music. In their eyes, it’s not okay to accept that some people just don’t like their music, no. Everyone with criticisms just doesn’t get it and is too simple to comprehend the vast complexities of Prog Rock. At the end of the day though, Prog Rock is music, and I fully understand how much thought goes into the music, the literary influences, the technical impressiveness, but forget all that for a moment and understand that none of it matters if the end result sounds as terrible as most Prog Rock does. Making a piece of art accessible to people is one of the most important parts of art, it’s why directors have to thoughtfully choose what to exclude from their final cut to keep runtime reasonable, it’s what an artist chooses to include in his canvas and what’s just outside, but fans of Prog Rock will pretend that just because the genre might have a little more sophistication in production that this inherently makes the music better; it doesn’t, as they’ve made their music inaccessible by how awful it is to listen to. Overall, with a genre that encompasses so many diverse sounds and styles, it’s actually impressive how almost every single one of them is trash, and the pretentiousness of the community gives me even more reason to avoid this genre altogether.