By TAYLOR BENNETT
Staff Writer
Meh. Did you hear that? It sounds like someone ignoring their schoolwork. Did you know that some people procrastinate to the point of being classified as chronic procrastinators? You did not know that. And you would not have ever known that unless I told you because you were too lazy to do your research, much less your homework. Personally, I find it hilarious that I could say something entirely absurd in this article, and that a large majority of people would believe it, simply because they did not feel like actually researching the subject and confirming its plausibility with facts. After all, the internet never lies, right?
The deep-rooted irony behind procrastination is this: people procrastinate to avoid doing work and end the way with more work to do. I find this hilarious, because procrastination is meant to alleviate the stress and anxiety of upcoming tasks, yet causes even more of it in the process. In over twelve years of school, I have seen the majority of my peers put more effort into avoiding assignments than completing them, and I cannot help but laugh at their hard work – the hard work they were attempting to avoid in the first place. Some of you may have stopped reading by now, or maybe you decided to keep reading to find out why I am criticizing the minds of most of the people I know in this article, so you can have a reason to be mad at something today – the world’s greatest accomplishment was creating such absurdly angry, temperamental people. I am making fun of these people because I am one of them. I procrastinated on this assignment. I assume that you would have had no idea that I did until now since I seemingly had some sort of bitterness and resentment towards people who do their assignments “later”. I have a little secret to tell you: doing your assignments later does not actually decrease your workload. By doing an assignment or task later in the day or even the week, you are increasing your workload and work effort by much more than you would have if you simply completed it on time. Shocking, I know.
The most ironic thing of all of this is that in procrastinating on multiple assignments in multiple classes and increasing the amount of effort you must put into your work, you are actually becoming a more strategic, hard-working person. Still feel like that is not true? Think about how hard you worked to complete that assignment last week at 11:56 pm. In four minutes, you wrote something amazing. I am not at all endorsing or supporting procrastination, because you have to be incredibly well prepared to do it, but if procrastination has worked for you this far, you might as well keep doing it until it no longer benefits you, or until you realize it is a terrible system to have.