Oftenly

By: ALYSSA GONZALEZ

Staff Writer 

I often find myself in situations I can’t seem to get out of.

I often find myself alone with no one to share my paranoid thoughts with. 

I often find myself endured and confused.

I misconstrue, I had the wrong expectations for a safe place to run.

There’s a common conception of there only being two options, fight or flight.

I often choose flight because I realize I don’t usually win the physical disagreement. The truth is I have never won when it comes to sharing my opinion on physical things I don’t want to do. Rather it goes from being too shy to speak up or from being too small to fight back when I do.

I am not a confident person, I am not a big person, and I am not a person who can win a fight.

So I chose flight every time.

Maybe people see me as a girl who goes with the flow.

Maybe people see me as a girl who likes attention.

Maybe people see me as a girl who asked for it.

A girl who put herself in that situation because she couldn’t deal with her problems.

Maybe I am seen as a girl that is nonetheless a coward. 

The truth is I am a coward who put myself in that situation.

I am a girl who doesn’t have enough respect for herself to stay safe.

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